garnigal: (Default)
garnigal ([personal profile] garnigal) wrote2008-05-09 01:14 pm
Entry tags:

Writer's Block: So Sensitive

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He thought she was wonderful.

But then she moved into his apartment, ate off his plates, slept in his bed, shared his air. And he couldn't quite bring himself to tell her that it wasn't working out.

He used to think she was wonderful.

But she left her clothes on the floor, her shoes in the hallway, and her damn cat peed on the carpet so everything stank. He still couldn't tell her it was over.

She didn't seem so wonderful any more.

She teased him about needing to have things "just so", nagged him into giving up even more of his space for her books and clothes, and laughed with her friends over his sensitivity. He didn't know how to break the news that she had to leave.

He'd always remember their time together as wondeful.

His apartment was his own again. No scattered belongings, no destructive cat, no taunts. And he hadn't even needed to have that difficult and uncomfortable confrontation.

He thought having a construction site across the street was wonderful.

[identity profile] jmbauhaus.livejournal.com 2008-05-09 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
And, BAM! There's that punchline. Very well done.

[identity profile] garnigal.livejournal.com 2008-05-09 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh, thanks. It's not as tight as I'd like (way too much drabbling I think - if it can't be said in 100 words, what's the point?), but I did like the slow descent into crazy murderer.

Yup. Still dark.
jerusha: (Default)

[personal profile] jerusha 2008-05-11 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. I liked this.

[identity profile] garnigal.livejournal.com 2008-05-12 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks so much. I was afraid people would start to think I have some dark nefarious plans, these are all so creepy.